Every student at Steinbrenner is well aware of the volume of people who attend this school, this becomes especially apparent during times like changing of classes. The trips through the hallway, or worse yet, the staircases, are treacherous journeys that can leave even the most experienced Warrior late for class.
The administration at Steinbrenner High School has decided to address this problem by creating four lanes on the staircase leading into the 200 building on the side near the library, widely known as the most crowded staircase on campus. They are, in order from left to right: the Express Lane, the PDA Lane, the Bros Lane, and the Fast Track to the Bathroom.
The first of these lanes is the most desired, the Express Lane. Students walking at a continuous speed of five miles an hour or higher will be permitted to use this division of the stairwell. This will help the people who are committed to getting to class on time be able to do so. However, people who walk below five miles per hour will be penalized.
“The first offense will warrant a suspension from using the Express Lane for the rest of the day. The second offense will result in loss of Express Lane privileges for a week. After that, the student will lose all privileges on the Express Lane for the rest of the nine weeks,” according to the policy statement on Steinbrenner’s website.
This lane will make student’s lives easier at Steinbrenner.
“It’s an amazing solution to our problem here at Steinbrenner,” said Theresa Tardy, who has been late to class five times this school year because of this very stairwell. “I can actually get to my Math class on time, I’m so excited!”
While there is a lot of excitement for the Express Lane, it cannot be emphasized enough that there are three other stellar lane options for the Warriors.
The first of these is the PDA Lane. All of the students who attend Steinbrenner are well aware of the epidemic of PDA that affects our population. No one can go to class without witnessing some rather “romantic” stuff in between.
“This can annoy me, and my fellow students,” said Sophia Scholarly. “It’s harder to get to our classes in a timely manner when people are stopping the flow of traffic to have a moment with their date!”
Fortunately for Sophia, and many other students, there is now a PDA Lane, where all of those students who would like to engage in such activities can do so without impairing their fellow students ability to get to class.
Next to the PDA lane, there is the Bros Lane. This is for all of those friends who feel the need to high-five, hug, or otherwise interact with each other in passing.
In the Bros Lane, these friends can interact without slowing down on the Express Lane, which helps both them and their peers.
“I can’t wait to use the Bros Lane,” said Harry Highfive. “It will be so much fun to see all my peeps together!”
Last but certainly not least, adjacent to the Bros Lane is the Fast Track to the Bathroom. This lane allows students to reach to nearest restrooms with ease. Of course, once students reach the restroom, the likelihood of them being able to use the facilities and still make it to class on time are very slim, but at least they have a head start.
“I’m looking forward to using the new lanes here at Steinbrenner,” said Wendy Warrior. “It’s such an innovative solution and makes me proud to be a student here!”
The rest of us can only hope all of the students agree with Wendy and will use the new staircase lanes with pride in their caring school.
All four new lanes will open on Oct. 1.
Sadie Testa-Secca // Managing Editor