Protect the Coven with… Benadryl?

Last minute Disney World escapades, the mystical properties of Benadryl, and yet another array of unprecedented deaths made an appearance in this week’s episode of Coven. With so many seemingly random, last-ditch efforts to rescue the show’s slowly wavering plot line, Coven appears to be losing some of the inertia that originally kept viewers enticed.

Depicting a somewhat morbid scene, the witches (Marie LaVeau included) are shown gathered around the final resting place of newly deceased Nan. However, just moments into the service, two figures approach the cemetery where the witches are mourning. Who might these two characters be, you ask? Why none other than postmortem (or alive?) Queenie and the formerly dismembered immortal racist, LaLaurie, whom she craftily reassembled through the use of her newfound healing powers. With so many new gifts presenting themselves in Queenie, the hostile young witch believes she may just be the new Supreme, with Misty Day still MIA.

Supreme talk aside, the newly redeemed character of LaLaurie unfortunately succumbs to the familiar thrill of human torture, tying up an elderly black servant and draining him of blood until his inevitable death ensues. Opening with a flashback, “Protect the Coven” gives audiences a glimpse back to the time LaLaurie got her first taste of human blood. Literally. Being such a twisted and sadistic woman, it was only a matter of time before she reverted to her malevolent ways, no matter how badly viewers were pulling for her to remain on the right track.

Weirdly enough, Zoe and Kyle escape to Disney's EPCOT during this episode of "AHS",
Weirdly enough, Zoe and Kyle escape to Disney’s EPCOT during this episode of ‘AHS’ to free themselves from Robichaux’s grasp.

When the ghost of Spalding happens upon the gruesome scene of LaLaurie and her mutilated victim in the attic where he resides in a sort of “paranormal limbo”, however, Spaulding offers her an ultimatum. He proposes that in exchange for yet another creepy doll to add to his extensive collection, he will provide LaLaurie with the thing she desires most: a magical potion to poison her nemesis Marie LaVeau with. Too bad Spaulding’s “magic potion” was none other than the common cold prescription, Benadryl which unfortunately for LaLaurie, ends up not working in the way she expected (shocker).

Prior to the attempted assassination of Marie LaVeau, both she and Fiona Goode decide to make a pilgrimage to the witch hunters’ headquarters in order to negotiate a deal. Will the witch hunters pay the women off and vow to cease all killing in order to salvage their company? Or will the two powerful femme fatales simply take out their mutual enemy in a little cold blood? You guessed it. Upon refusing to give into the two witches elaborate demands, Goode cues her trusty Axeman-lothario to abandon his butler disguise and unleash a wave of axe-yielding violence upon the unsuspecting hunters, slaughtering every last one of them.

The episode begins to wind down with a tense scene involving Madison, Zoe and Kyle, whom the two girls are fighting over only to have Kyle choose Zoe over the pretentious and spoiled Hollywood starlet. Following a minor brawl between the two teenaged witches over their previously shared boy toy, Zoe seeks the advice of Myrtle who prompts her to abandon the coven with Kyle. Unwilling to neglect the witches of Robichaux Academy at first, Zoe eventually decides that it would in fact be in her and Kyle’s best interests to get away for a while. And where to? Well apparently Disney World’s EPCOT theme park is a hotspot for the supernatural to vacation, at because that’s exactly where the young lovers decide to flee.

Culminating with a final glimpse of Kyle and Zoe boarding a bus bound for Orlando, it seems Disney World’s promises of dreams coming true really does have a bit of truth to it, at least for these two uncanny lovers hopping at the chance to escape the chaos of New Orleans. Aside from that of Cordelia’s act of self mutilation where she is blinded yet again, this time voluntarily, in a successful attempt to reacquire her powers of internal sight that pretty much sums up the extent of Coven’s eleventh installment.

With just two episodes left to premiere this season, it seems Coven may be hitting a dead end. Having killed off the witches’ largest threat to the sanctity of their society, I, along with the majority of the show’s fan base, have been left with the pressing question: “Well, what now?” Assuming Kyle and Zoe ever return from their little Disney World detour, the final few episodes will likely broadcast a battle of the Supremes; a final showdown we can only hope will be worth the wait. Score: 6.5/10

Hannah Crosby/News Editor